Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Skinny Genes Part III.

 I've always had a low blood sugar level.  I used to faint all the time when I was younger.  Standing on the sun for long hours at the opening of our school year, I'd just pass out.  Which sometimes would go unnoticed, as being the tallest I had to stand at the end of the line.  I'd see black dots dancing front of my eyes.  My ears buzzing louder and louder, until my whole body would just give up and fall backwards.  Once I was down, the whole class would gather around me worriedly.  While a teacher lifting my legs up in the air with confidence, explaining the others that this is the fastest way to get the blood flow back in my head, like I was some sort of guinea pig.  Meanwhile me - half unconscious - trying to hold my skirt down to prevent completely exposing myself front of the entire school.  Like it wasn't bad enough I had fainted.  Giving some talking material to everyone for a full week.  I had kids and teachers casting worried looks towards me for days, ready to jump and hold me in case I'd faint again.  I felt weak.

 This happened to me less often as I grew older.  Also I had learned to control it.  As soon as I feel light headed, and see the black spots, I just sit down, have some water and breath through it.  And try to keep candy with me all the time.

 I used to do fit modeling for a well-known designer, where I was required to stand in heels for long hours.  While the team would fit their creations around my body.  Gorgeous dresses and gowns with corseted waists, tight bodices are every women's dream.  Wasn't mine at that point.  I would get light headed several times, and had to sit down to sip some water, while cursing myself and the situation.  As it is really something you can't control.  I hated myself for slowing down the work of the designing process.  What was more annoying, that I was constantly asked if I had eaten anything before coming to work.  Which of course I did.  I hoped they didn't think of me as someone with an eating disorder.

 Everybody Google-s themselves once in a while.  I type my name into the little search window sometimes just out of curiosity.  To see what's out there about me, or if anything has been updated on certain modeling websites.  I have never thought I would find myself on sites dedicated to anorexia and bulimia.  Where clearly sick individuals blog and exchange information and tips about how to stay thin by simply not eating.  I won't mention the names of these sites, but there are plenty.  Where pictures of models are being showcased as "inspiration" for the sick.  Looking and reading these websites I was shocked on how some people live their everyday lives.  Clearly obsessed with their body image, having completely lost touch with reality.  Not knowing what's right or wrong, what's fat and thin anymore.  I feel sad of course, and disappointed that fashion - which was supposed to bring joy and excitement in people's life - had brought such a terrible message.  Who can be really responsible for that?  The models?  Fashion?  Hollywood?

 Here are some of the shocking tips on how to stay thin according to one of these sites.  As awful as these next lines may sound, they are not made up, but real and were written by real women.  The following comments displayed in parenthesis are made by me.

1.  Keep a thinspiration book.  Get a really nice journal or something and print pictures of skinny        models, tips, quotes, or workouts, and glue it in there.  Look through it whenever you want to binge.

2.  Keep a stack of magazines weighing the same amount you want to lose.  When you lose weight   remove some magazines from the stack.  Use fashion magazines so that they also can inspire you as you remove as you lose.  (Hoping that with the revolution of technology in the future, paper magazines will be eliminated, and with it this ridiculous tip.)

3.  Eat on a blue or black plate.  Dark colors usually make you feel fuller faster.  Better yet, eat on small dark plates.  (Better yet, eat your small dark plate!)

4.  When you want to eat something yo shouldn't, make a list of all the reasons you shouldn't, and read it at least 20 times.  (I'd say 30 times, just to be safe.)

5.  When you get a craving, count to 100 really slowly, and it might pass.  (And if it doesn't, please refer to tip #3.)

6.  Pick one food for the day, like an apple.  Cut it into 4 quarters, eat on part for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and you've got one left over for a snack.  (You even get a snack, what a splurge!)

7.  Take a Polaroid picture or a cell phone picture of yourself wearing nothing but you underwear.  When you want to binge, look at it, and see all that fat that you need to get rid of, and carry it in you wallet or phone whenever you go somewhere where there will be food.  (This tip should be posted out front of every McDonald's in the US.)

8.  Eat with the opposite hand you normally do.  (Better yet, try your feet. 100% success rate.)

9.  Clean something gross like your bathroom, or if you have cats, clean the litter box when you want to eat.

10.  Wear tight jeans so you remember how much weight yo have to lose.  (Hipsters suddenly make sense.)

11.  Pour tons of something gross on your food like salt or pepper so you can't eat it.  (Or just give it to some homeless person. But first make sure they are not on a diet, you don't want to be rude.)

12.  Eat in front of the mirror.  Hell, eat in front of the mirror naked and see how much you want to eat then!

13.  Never eat dinner!  If you eat dinner you don't give you body enough time to burn off the calories.  (Yeah, not if every night you sit front of the TV watching bad soaps you fat f***!)

14.  Go shopping and try on clothes that you wish you could fit.  (Like child apparel.)

15. Pinch all your fat if you want to eat and see how disgusting it is.  (Wait!  That's just skin.)

16.  Stay away from food and the kitchen!  Unless your family around, then pretend like you just finished eating and getting a snack. (The 1/4 apple.)

17.  Look at super models do they look like they eat?  (Noooooooooo!)

18.  To keep a binge from coming, go outside and go for a walk, do 20 push-ups and then 20 jumping jacks after you won't feel like eating anymore.  Better yet, do them in front of the mirror.  If you see what moves up and down yo won't feel like eating again.  (Why don't you cover the interior of your entire house with mirrors, so once you loose all the weight you wanted, you will only have to deal with your own self loaded vanity.)

19.  Caffeine is great, it decreases the appetite.  (Plus it makes you go to the bathroom.  Bonus pounds off.)

20.  Munch on ice cubes to get rid of the cravings of chewing.  (Why don't you just smoke a nice Cuban then?)

To be continued...


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